12 days, but, who's counting?

April 11, 2012

                12 days, y’all!!!!

                I posted on my sister’s Facebook wall that it still doesn’t feel real to me, it seems like there are so many days between me and the terra firma of the Cleveland airport! 12 days…that’s not too long, but, it’s long enough, especially when we have 5 sea days at the end of the cruise and sea days go by so slowly because you can really run out of things to do!

                Let me think about what has been going on! We had our last day in Sydney on the 5th, which was bittersweet. I had half of the day off, so I got off the ship in the morning and went to grab some brekkie (that’s breakfast in OZ-speak) and made my way to the Sydney Opera House for the last time to get some free internet. It was around 9:30am, the city was bustling with people going to work, school, touring the streets and buying souvenirs and the sun was shining down, puffy white clouds lined the sky, and the warm breeze made me feel insanely happy. I walked around the harbor to the Opera House, listening to music and soaking up the atmosphere surrounding me, feeling truly blessed to be able to say that I’ve been to this magical city more than once—which is something most will only ever dream of. I said goodbye to a guy who had become a really good friend since I signed on, Nick, and when I got back on board I had two free treatments (a skin detox and acupuncture) from the spa on board because they needed people for demonstrations as guests for the next cruise made their way around the ship.

                I went up to the outer decks that night as we sailed away from Sydney around 6:30pm and the sky was already dark and the lights of the city were sparkling. Nick and Mark (the PM fill) were on the pier waving goodbye as the ship pulled away from the dock, and I will admit that I did cry a little bit, saying goodbye to Nick and to Australia, a place I’ve more-or-less called home for the better part of 6 months. Nonetheless, the ship carried on sailing, and after two days at sea we arrived in Auckland, New Zealand on Easter Sunday to stay overnight.  I got off in the morning, found some internet, but nothing too exciting happened because most things were closed due to the holiday, but on Monday I went back out, did some more “interneting” and some last-minute retail therapy—including buying the 2^nd book in the “Hunger Games” series. I know it’s for young adults, but, just like the “Twilight” series—it’s an easy and entertaining read!

                We left Auckland and we’ve been at sea now for 2 days, going on our third. We have one more to go after this (making 4 total sea days) until we get to Papeete, Tahiti where we stay from 2:00pm to 11:30pm. To keep ourselves busy on these long days, we’ve been playing a lot of games (Killer Bunnies) and watching lots of TV. A bunch of us from the Cruise Division actually ended up playing in an all-crew game of “The Amazing Race” tonight, which was really fun but too short-lived. Later in the cruise (the night of Papeete) there’s a tug-of-war game organized and our team is going to be AMAZING, then after the Tahitian ports the Cruise division is responsible for putting together an all crew party on the sports deck which will include the Rockwall, the Sports Court for basketball/hockey/soccer and then after midnight it will be a dance floor, and I think we will also have the kid’s water slide open. Gonna be awesome!

                So, hopefully this time will all fly by, I just need to keep busy. I’ve put my big duffle bag up in the dressing room and have been throwing things into it that I won’t need for the rest of the cruise (like long-sleeved shirts and such) and I have no clue how I am going to fit everything!!! It is going to take some creative packing and probably a lot of “does anybody want this?” in order to make it work, but, it has to, so, it will!

                In the meantime, while I slowly pack and organize things, I am fighting a wee cold, which will hopefully quit me before I get on a plane to come home. Fingers crossed!

I love you all very much!

Xoxoxox

 B

Reflection

April 2, 2012

                I warn you all, this post is in regards to what happened to me a year ago today. If you don’t want to read it, I understand, so, I thought I’d give you a spoiler alert and give you the chance to escape now.

Everyone still here? Good. Welcome!

                So there’s this show that I’ve been watching again just for fun called “Nip Tuck” and it’s about two plastic surgeons in Miami. In the episode I watched today, the one doctor, Sean, was driving and he was hit by a guy running a stop sign. In the rest of the episode he dealt with PTSD and the challenges of choosing a new car to keep him safe. I am reminded that it was almost exactly a year ago that I nearly lost my life in that car accident that is nearly the same as the one this fictional character went through. Sean tells his partner, later in the episode, that he got into a rental car and couldn’t even start the engine, he was so terrified, and his partner says to him “Post traumatic stress disorder” and Sean replies, “I didn’t go to war, Christian, I had a car accident” to which Christian says “Your brain doesn’t car if it was a bullet or a car, you faced death.”

                Now, I know that I didn’t really come close to death per se, but, I would certainly label it as the most traumatic thing that has happened in my life. I’ve been reflecting on what my life has been like since that night, and how I’ve changed in the year since the sounds of crunching metal and shattering glass became the most terrifying sounds to my ears.  Part of me wants to focus on the negatives of what happened, like the way I seem to walk with a limp that I don’t notice but others say to me “are you limping a little, Brit?” or the way I can be going about my day just normally and then get a shooting pain from my hip down to my kneecap that makes me momentarily swoon and grab on to the nearest structure. I want to focus on the way I can’t itch my right thigh the way I can itch my arm when I need to, but instead, when I have an “itch”, I have to smack my thigh several times in the right spot in order to feel relief, how when a friend gave me a massage and brushed over my collarbone his hands recoiled in shock at the weird bump he felt, or how one of the singers on board said to me “I have screws in my ankle, and when it’s cold out and I come inside, my ankle still feels cold on the inside where the screws are, the way metal stays cold when it’s been outside.” And I wonder if I’m going to have the same sensations in my pelvis when I’m hunkered down in the Cleveland winter.

                 It’s easy to focus on the negatives, and I could continue listing them here, boring my poor readers to death with tales of the woes I face with my jacked up right side and the occasional PTSD dreams and episodes like Sean’s. Instead, I want to focus on all the good that’s happened in the last year. I know people usually do this reflection on New Year’s Eve/Day, but, April 1^st/2^nd is more significant for me than that, so, come with me as I wax nostalgic about the past year.

                I feel like I should start with the relief I felt when the doctor finally discharged me and sent me home from the hospital, 2 weeks after I’d been admitted. The flat layout of my house and the fact that my amazing mother was able to alter her whole schedule in order to stay at home with me are two things for which I am eternally grateful.  And now, in the interest of making the rest of this post as un-boring as possible I shall bullet point some of the good things that come to mind post-accident. These are in no specific order, folks, just so you know.

-- I lost a good amount of weight since the accident, and by no means am I a spring chicken, but, I know that I’m still smaller than I was last year

-- I landed the job with Royal Caribbean International from my kitchen table, swearing sweatpants and a pretty top, sitting in a wheelchair

-- I attended the college graduation of a number of my close friends a mere month and a half after the accident

-- I gained a new appreciation for people with chronic pain and am now prepared for the physical therapy I will face if/when I have my hip replaced later in life

-- I came out to work on the high seas and met tons of people from all over the world, most of whom I know I’ll stay in touch with after I leave

-- I reconnected with a woman I hadn’t seen since childhood

-- I strengthened relationships with old friends and formed closer bonds with new friends

-- I walked down the aisle in June at one of my best friend’s weddings using a cane and made it look good

-- I semi swing danced at the reception of one of my other best friend’s weddings in July

-- I made good strides towards mending my broken heart

-- Through the accident, clearer lines have been drawn between what/who is real and what/who is fake

-- I’ve seen places that I never dreamed I’d see, like the glistening white “sails” of the Sydney Opera House and the quaint, romantic water bungalows of Bora Bora

-- This one is kind of positive and negative, but, I spent most of my favorite days of the year on this ship, floating around the southern hemisphere

-- My brother asked a wonderful someone to marry him, and she asked my sister and me to be a part of the bridal party in August

-- I erased all of my college debt

-- I now understand how fleeting life can be, how nothing is guaranteed

-- Along those lines, I think I’ve been more self-assured when it comes to grabbing life by the horns, and not waiting for something to come to you: if you want it, go after it!

As it nears 1am for me, my brain is running out of creative juice, so forgive me for cutting this list short. Just know that there are a lot more things that I am thankful for, and things that are positive that came out of the horrific accident that night. I am so thankful that God allowed me to live through that ordeal and that I had so much support, then and now.

You are all a dear part of my life, and you will be forever.

I can’t wait to see you all this spring/summer!

Big hugs and kisses

B

Happy Birthday to me!

March 31, 2012

                So here’s what’s been happening since I posted on the 23^rd:

                On the 24^th, Sydney turnaround day, I went with a  number of people from the cast and we saw the movie “The Hunger Games” which is based off of a book that I may or may not have mentioned purchasing in my last post. I finished it in 2-3 days so that I could see the movie with the group. It lived up to my expectations though I will say, like most movies that are based off of books, they cut a lot of the good details out. In short, I was happy that I read the book first, after several friends recommended that I do so.

                After we left Sydney, we set sail for the islands of Vanuatu, where we were just after New Year’s and I visited all those beautiful places like caves and waterfalls. We had two days at sea, during which we found out that there was a very dangerous weather pattern near the islands, including two cyclones that were threatening to meet up over the top of the island chain and possibly cause the Captain and his team to reconfigure the itinerary for the voyage. But, despite all that, we arrive on schedule in Nouméa, New Caledonia, where I was finally able to buy the wine that I couldn’t buy last time, as some of you might recall. I bought two bottles of “Anjou Rose”, wine that comes from the region of France where I studied abroad, and I am going to try to bring one home if I can pack it in my duffel. It was a really rainy day though, thanks to the weather pattern, so I didn’t stay out long, just ran into the grocery store, bought the wine and a few other things, and went back to the ship. That night, my roommate Melissa and the dance captain, Jess, and some of my colleagues planned a little birthday get-together at the crew bar, which coincided with a “Beach Party” themed party planned by the HR center, so we all put on tropical wear and went out. We had a blast!!!!

                The next day we went to Lifou, where the weather continued to be pretty crappy, but I went out with Melissa, Jess, and a few of the other cast members, and we swam in the ocean, despite the intermittent rain. When we couldn’t take the weather any more, we came back to the ship, showered, I worked for a little while and then I changed clothes and went back to the theatre to watch the evening’s show, which was the hypnotist who has been on board a number of times. I would have had to work but I scheduled one of the guys to cover it for me since it was my birthday and all! The show was hilarious, as usual, and then I went to dinner at Chop’s Grille (a steakhouse on board) with Brian and the folks I’d gone swimming with. I had a delicious meal of shrimp cocktail, Caesar salad and Pancetta-wrapped Chicken breast (I would have had the filet mignon, but, I’d eaten it when I went there with my team earlier in the week).  

                Then I started my duty rotation, which means 5 days stuck on the ship, but Jared traded with me so I could get off two days later in Luganville and go to the French restaurant that Jason and Lauren found the last time we were here. I walked there by myself and had delicious food made by a French couple from Bordeaux who relocated to these islands a while back. The wife was very pleased to hear that I spoke French and we had a lovely conversation for a few minutes and I left feeling stuffed and very content.

                Today we were in the city of Vila and once again I wasn’t allowed off the ship, but I worked in the morning taking guests going on tours from the theatre down to the pier and then I went back to bed for a while (didn’t get a lot of sleep the night before) and when I woke up I watched some TV while I did a little bit of room organizing and throwing a lot of things away. It’s still too early to really think about packing, but, I am anyways. Do you think I’m excited to come home? (that’s a rhetorical question!) I’ve been having dreams about being home, about seeing my friends and family, the plans I have for the summer, using my phone again; all kinds of little things that clearly my subconscious is dying to make into realities through my dreams! Ironically, I haven’t been sleeping well these past few weeks, probably because I’m so anxious to come home. There were two nights in a row where I fell asleep between 5-7am and had to wake up a few hours later to work and then had to try to force myself to stay up all day in order to ensure sleepiness that night…it’s been an exhausting circle.

I’ll blog again soon!

B